I got to be honest. Watching sports in Boston doesn't even feel like watching sports anymore. It's more like watching a movie or a play that you already know the ending too. I mean I can't remember the last time I was actually "nervous" during a Red Sox game or any other Boston sporting event for that matter. It's no longer about whether we're going to win or lose because we're obviously going to win. It's just a matter of who is going to be the hero for us and who is going to be the goat for the other team. Seriously my heart hasn't skipped the beat the entire series. I didn't care that we lost last night. I mean I was a little pissed because I wanted to go to bed, but I knew Lester would just dominate the shit out of them the next game. That's how fucking good we are. It's the classic Stu Feiner quote. "If it seems like we always win.....It's because we do! I guess that's what life is like for a Boston Sports fan nowadays. We're better than everybody else and we know it. So do me a favor and Cue the motherfucking Duckboats would you....

Hey Fuckin Tampa. Here we come bitches! Try not to shit yourself!

One run should do the trick tonight.

Not surprisingly the weather forecast for Thursday is 75 and sunny.   Even God loves the beautiful people.   Anyway just to clarify the Blueball starts at 9pm.   Not 8pm like our dumbass website say.   9pm post time!     You must wear a blue shirt to get in.  Jeans don’t count as your blue quota.  (I’m specifically saying that for Manzo’s sake)    The guest list for this party closes at 5pm on Wednesday.   RSVP to smokeshow@barstoolsports.com. Please print out your confirmation email to make things easier at the door.  

PS – I think they mentioned this party on E!News last night.  That’s how hot this fucking thing is.

Double PS - Yeah I know we didn't have a smokeshow today. That's as punishment for a drastic slowdown in nominations. Time for people to get their asses in gear. Send all nominations to randomthoughts@barstoolsports.com

Is tonight a must win for the Sox? I feel like that’s the buzz around town or at least in Abington.  That if we have to fly back to California and put it all on the line with Daisuke “4.2 innings” Matsuzaka on the mound than we’re dead.  And you know what?  I kind of agree.   It’s the exact scenario that I didn’t want to happen in the beginning of this series.  I don’t trust Dice K as far as I can bowl him and would have at least 6 heart attacks watching him nibble and walk the bases loaded every inning in a do or die game.    Now having said all that I’m not even remotely nervous because there is no way in hell this thing is going to Game 5.  Jon Lester is a man-child.   There is no way the Angels beat him.  It’s impossible.   In fact I can’t believe the Sox are only -138 in this game.  Once again Vegas has their heads up their asses.   We should be at least -250.   

Mortal Lock Red Sox

PS – Even though I love watching the Red Sox celebrate as much as the next guy. tonight’s celebration is the most ridiculous celebration in sports.    You should only celebrate after you clinch a playoff spot and after you win the World Series.  Maybe when you win the American League.  But this celebration that occurs after winning the first round of the playoffs is just nuts.     Whatever.  At least it’s us who is always doing the celebrating which makes it easier to stomach.

Get this bitch a ticket to the Blueball STAT!

Oct 6 - Hard pressed to find good helping hands these days? Not bothered that these helping hands may not be human? Then you may want to try hiring the same workers as used by the owners of the Japanese tavern Kayabukiya.  The local hangout just north of Tokyo employs a pair of Japanese monkeys called Yat-chan and Fuku-chan to serve their customers. The younger of the two, Fuku-chan, usually begins the first shift and is quick to hand out customers a hot towel to help them clean their hands before they order their first drinks.  Fuku-chan, who is four, has only two years experience under his furry belt and his work load is limited to hot towels.  Both monkeys are well appreciated by customers who tip them with boiled soya-beans to enjoy during their down time.

First of all I love these videos with no narration – if only TBS got the memo.  I’m still shaking my head over Chip Caray telling me Vladimir Guerrero “ran through the stop sign” when he was gunned down going from 1st to 3rd on the Youkilis play in Game 2.  Get a fucking clue Chip, you’re embarrassing the entire family.  Anyway back to the tape.  Frankly these 2 monkeys seem to be giving better service than 90% of actual human waiters, so kudos to Yat-Chan and Fuku-chan for their hard work.  Yes I waitered for 6 years and am including myself in that group.  Unfortunately within a week they’ll start complaining about the customers and spitting in the food.   And I guarantee you they already had sex in the back.

And the answer is 14! Holy Fuck! They don't make them like they used to anymore huh? I hate to say it, but I'd totally rather bang the 14 year old version of Kim Kardashian than the current version. I'm not sure if that means I'm a pervert or about to get arrested or what, but it is what it is. Chris Hanson would have a freaking field day with this. I mean I'd walk face first into a Dateline NBC sting if I thought there was even a 2% chance this was waiting for me on the other end.

(Bastard Pingpong Balls!)

DERRY – Dawn Macomber of Derry is outraged. Why? She said that Hannaford Supermarket on Manchester Road was targeting young teenagers like her son, B.J., who is a seventh-grader at West Running Brook Middle School, when they placed a display holding pingpong balls in close proximity to where alcohol is sold.  Macomber is upset that a store that promotes a healthy lifestyle would sell pingpong balls in the same place alcohol is sold. She claims the pingpong display was put up so the store could sell the necessary equipment for beer pong, a drinking game designed to get players drunk quickly. "They are being blatant about it. There were packages with 12 pingpong balls," Macomber said. "The manager told me they were being sold as toys, but there were no paddles being sold. All the kids know what they are for." . The fact that children her son's age are already practicing to play drinking games when they are older is an even bigger concern. "There are kids his age playing water pong. There is a concern about water poisoning with these kids," Macomber said, referring to what she has learned about beer pong's popularity through the Internet and recent media coverage on the game.

12 ping pong balls in one package?   NOOOOOOO!!!!!!    Seriously when is enough enough?     We can’t continue to let ping pong balls corrupt our nation’s youth.   What we need is a good old fashioned ping pong ball burning.    Because as long teenagers can continue to buy these things or even look at them they will continue to abuse alcohol or worse yet water.    It’s a risk we can’t afford to take!  Thank you Dawn Macomber.    America needs more heroes like you.

- Thanks to Josh

Things to consider while wondering how long it takes before OJ blames the whole incident on Bill Belichick:

* I guess you can't recap a Patriots game without first talking about how Matt Cassel did, any more than you can cover the campaign without mentioning how hot the VPILF looked. Overall it was probably his best game thus far. Certainly his most productive. I mean, no one wants the INTs, but neither was really a terrible mistake and both were the result of him trying to throw deep and (all together now) "make a play." Certainly when you compare those to the meltdown by Sage Rosenfels in the earlier game, where it looked like the Polian Crime Syndicate had gotten a hold of his family and was forcing him to throw the game, it gives you a little perspective. 22-of-32 for 259 yards and a win on the road is about the limit of what one can expect from a backup QB. To say any more than that would be the worst form of nitpickery.

*They haven't dumbed down the offense in any way that jumps out at me. They came out in a lot fewer two-back sets than they did, say, against the Jets. Primarily they spread the field with a single back and by my guess, went with a double slot formation more than half the time. The routes looked a lot like the Weis playbook, defeating blitzes and a box stacked up to stop the run with a lot of bubble screens and quick slants and hitches. And Cassel consistently threw a good, accurate ball on those all day. We could probably stand to lose the Chad Bradford sidearm throw in traffic, but again, that's picking nits.

*It's as if someone from CBS said "Hold on, here. Enberg and Fouts are fairly normal, rational people and there'll be nothing for smarmy, sarcastic bloggers to write about. Better send them Randy Cross too then." Cross' whole reason to exist is to take some reasonable point by Fouts and use it to introduce some graphic they gave him. The Pats keep switching up their RB, here's Randy with a RB yardage chart. The Pats offense is struggling, Randy's got a breakdown of their numbers vs. last year. Their defense is starting to pressure JT O'Sullivan, Randy wants to show us a picture of a cat with bacon taped to his back.

*It's doesn't take a football genius on the level of a Bill Walsh or an Eric Mangini to see that the offense is only going to go as far as the O-line takes it. And early on, it looked like they'd take them just as far as they did in the Miami game. There was Mankins' INT, a false start by Koppen (who hasn't looked right at all lately) and Yates and Kaczur were looking like on every drop back they were about to usher in the Kevin O'Connell Era. But by the 2nd qtr, the line settled in and gave the offense the rhythm it's been lacking. It would be an exaggeration to say they "imposed their will on San Fran" (which is my current favorite cliche) but I will say they "gave the 49ers a pretty strong suggestion."

*To be fair though, I counted at least three occasions where a Patriot ball carrier ran smack into the back of an O-lineman as he was being shoved into the backfield. It was really strange too because guys banging repeatedly into the backsides of other guys isn't the kind of thing they're accustomed to seeing in San Francisco.

Click here to read the rest of this way overdue, hungover ragtime...

Do people remember Leyrn Franco.    She was that hot bitch pole vaulter from Paraguay or some bitch ass country like that.  Anyway now that the Olympics are over she does runway modeling and gets naked and shit like that.    Not sure if anybody cares but here are the pics just in case.  Thanks to onthe205th for sending them to us.   

Click for Leyrn Franco NSFW pics

So I was watching College Gameday this weekend and for some reason they had Kenny Chesney on there giving out his picks and wearing a Red Sox hat while doing it. Somewhere in a dark alley Todd McShay weeps. I mean I feel like I've watched Game Day every Saturday for the past century and I can't ever remember them having a guy like Kenny Chesney on the panel unless you count Desmond Howard. Very strange. And as if that wasn't bad enough he was trying to act like he was some hard core Red Sox fan. Listen dude you can talk all you want about how you wanted to play 2nd base for the Sox growing up, but guess what? Guys who wear Yankee hats aren't Red Sox fans. So do me a favor and take the Sox hat off. No more room on the bang-wagon for guys like you. I'm sure the Yankees are looking for fans though.

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Was this guy alone? I fucking hope so! Because that would be so awesomely insane I don't even know what I'd do with myself. Seriously who flies across the country by themselves to watch the Pats vs. Niners? I guess when you have a shirt like this guy does, you do what you got to do to put it on display. Regardless, I would have paid money to be a fly on the wall to watch Big Daddy Smooth watch the Red Sox in a bar in California. You know he was doing his K Dance and his "Because We're that Good" chant right in people's faces. You can't put a price on that type of Masshole domination.

BOSTON -- A drunk driver was arrested early Friday morning after driving nearly 17 miles the wrong way on I-93 Southbound. Norwood resident Siobhan Hayes, 21, is being held on $5,000 cash bail after driving the wrong way on I-93 at speeds in excess of 100 mph with a blood-alcohol level of .165. Police said that Hayes drove from Hanover all the way to Dorchester in her 1998 Chevrolet Malibu before her tires blew out from police stop sticks. The driver then fled her vehicle, and was later found by state troopers hiding near the Neponset River.

CLICK FOR VIDEO OF FIELD SOBRIETY TEST

You know I almost don’t blame this girl.  I mean have you ever driven a Chevy Malibu before?    One second you’re going 65 mph and next thing you know you’re going 110 the wrong way down 93 South and you don’t even know what happened.    It’s that smooth of a ride.  Regardless this chick sucks at getting a DUI.    Listen the cops just found you hiding in the woods after driving 100mph the wrong way down the highway.   Big deal.  Game ain’t over yet.   But when you scream that you’re drunk in front of the TV crews you leave the cops no choice.    They have to book you.  Let this be a lesson to all cute chicks who get DUI’s in the future.  Show some poise.   Suck a couple dicks.   Don’t just scream that you’re drunk.   This is like yelling that you got a pair of pocket Q’s in hold em before you see the river card.  Just be patient and see how everything unfolds. God gave you long legs for a reason. Put them to use.

PS – How do you drive the wrong way on 93 South?     You have to do a 3 point turn on the highway right?  That may be the most impressive part of this whole story.   

This time we both lose Johnny. I'm voting a draw.

Vote 1 for there is nothing worse than being a Cubs fan and 10 for at least Cubs fans can look forward to next year and people from Vermont can only look forward to hippies and winter.

- Thanks to Eric for the pic

Click for More Pics of Danielle